de la joie

Making babies?

delajoie — Tue, 16 Sep 2008 01:53:55 +0000

Trying to get pregnant is a funny thing…until you are trying and it doesn’t happen. Trying to get pregnant causes stress and anxiety, body image issues, health concerns, etc. etc. etc. When you are trying to conceive it is inevitable that everyone around you will get pregnant. Everyone. Cousins, friends, colleagues. Pregnancy doesn’t seem to discriminate against anyone but you. Or in my case, me. We tried for a while. And by try I mean, I shoved a thermometer in my mouth every morning and graphed it on some website full of other women obsessing about their temperatures. I peed on ovulation sticks which felt a lot like studying for a big test. I did pretty well on the ovulation tests. But I failed every single pregnancy test. No almosts from this girl. When I thought maybe there was a chance the next minute my period would stomp in to town. The worst part though was that it (getting pregnant) was on my mind all of the time. Having a baby wasn’t, but getting pregnant I thought about all of the time. I spent countless hours on the internet reading tips on message boards. Where women would write in their signature what day of their cycle they were on. I read books about conceiving and medical advice if there was a problem. It was all consuming. And exhausting.

We vowed after 18 months of obsession that we were done. Whatever happened, happened. That was over a year ago and now something has changed. Everyone is pregnant again. Everyone but me. Still.

My Lobotomy by Howard Dully

delajoie — Wed, 10 Sep 2008 13:59:22 +0000

I just finished ‘My Lobotomy’ by Howard Dully. It is a poignant account of his life before and after his transorbital lobotomy at age twelve. 12. He was a child in need of love and affection after his mother’s death who had the misfortune of a real life wicked stepmother. I was engrossed by his words, his emotion. Everything that Mr. Dully said was captivating, in part because of the tragedy of the situation but also due to the preconceived notions of lobotomy patients. He did not lose his ability to speak or interact. He is thoughtful and engaged. Dully felt different, that he stood out and he was deeply affected by his parents’ decision to go ahead with the procedure. A unique perspective on the mental health arena of the 1960s, this book is truly remarkable.

New beginnings and a re-introduction

delajoie — Wed, 10 Sep 2008 13:27:38 +0000

It’s been too long since I created this blog…and abandoned it just as quickly. Let’s just begin again shall we.

I am an administrator. An executive assistant. A secretary. An accountant. An HR coordinator. An amateur triathlete. A wife. A mom to my furkids. A daughter. A sister.

Despite all of those titles I am uncomfortable in my own skin most of the time and I do not deal well with stress. I internalize like my father and have emotional outbursts like my mother. My husband somehow manages to negotiate my personality remarkably well. This is a place where I can come to spew dribble into written words, to help myself make sense of this game called life.

Sounds dramatic? Nah, just a regular girl trying to put her husband through law school while finding herself.

Stress on a Friday

delajoie — Fri, 04 Apr 2008 14:28:40 +0000

There simply should not be stress on a Friday. Fridays are for fun, wrapping up the work week, anticipating a good weekend meal, time with loved ones, time to yourself…anything but stress. And yet it’s here making a home for itself in my entire being. It chokes my throat, puts pressure on my chest, make my head rage in red hot pain, and causes my extremities to wind themselves into a twisted yet invisible mess.

One way to look at this newfound stress is through the eyes of opportunity. The potential of a new and elevated position. Increased pay. There are no givens where human resources are concerned which makes it even more complicated. People, those ‘important’ people want me in the position. It may or may not come to fruition. What does matter is that I apply; put myself out there to receive what the world has to offer.

So, if there is so much opportunity…why do I feel like I am being strangled?

There once was a girl…

delajoie — Wed, 02 Apr 2008 18:12:28 +0000

who needed an outlet. And here it is! This is a blog to chronical my life. Why bother? Who is listening? Perhaps there is no one, but you never learn anything by simply watching the world go by.

And so, since there isn’t anyone following me around with cameras and microphones to record my story-I am recording it for you…for me. Enjoy!