Trying to get pregnant is a funny thing…until you are trying and it doesn’t happen. Trying to get pregnant causes stress and anxiety, body image issues, health concerns, etc. etc. etc. When you are trying to conceive it is inevitable that everyone around you will get pregnant. Everyone. Cousins, friends, colleagues. Pregnancy doesn’t seem to discriminate against anyone but you. Or in my case, me. We tried for a while. And by try I mean, I shoved a thermometer in my mouth every morning and graphed it on some website full of other women obsessing about their temperatures. I peed on ovulation sticks which felt a lot like studying for a big test. I did pretty well on the ovulation tests. But I failed every single pregnancy test. No almosts from this girl. When I thought maybe there was a chance the next minute my period would stomp in to town. The worst part though was that it (getting pregnant) was on my mind all of the time. Having a baby wasn’t, but getting pregnant I thought about all of the time. I spent countless hours on the internet reading tips on message boards. Where women would write in their signature what day of their cycle they were on. I read books about conceiving and medical advice if there was a problem. It was all consuming. And exhausting.
We vowed after 18 months of obsession that we were done. Whatever happened, happened. That was over a year ago and now something has changed. Everyone is pregnant again. Everyone but me. Still.
